Today is my last day in the office. This is supposed to be the happiest day for me, but it turned out to be the saddest instead. A couple of hours ago, Jay flew back to Cebu. This wasn’t planned. This is one of those times I never thought would happen. I didnt see this coming.
It’s past 2am and I still cant find myself sleeping. At the airport earlier, I tried to hold my tears back. I don’t want Jay to be sad. I know he doesn’t want to leave me alone here, but we are left with no choice. Sometimes, things just get out of hand, and you simply have no choice left. This feelings bring me back to year 2008 when He left for Singapore and I was left in Cebu. Fast forward to 2011, He’s going back to Cebu (indefinitely) and I’m left here in Singapore. See how life plays with us.
I am missing him terribly tonight. Everything here reminds me of him. Everywhere I look, I see his face. Everywhere I go, I know I’ll be reminded of the many wonderful things we’ve shared here. Now I am sleeping with the shirt he was wearing this morning. The smell is so him and just makes me feel so close to him. It’s a kind of comfort for me.
Now here I am not knowing what to do, not knowing what comes next, what happens next, and the like. Everything happened so unexpectedly that I feel I am already lost. But my hope is in the Lord who never fails. I do not fully understand everything and may not really understand at all, but I’m praying for faith that endures. Im praying for a supernatural strength. I am praying for a peaceful and trusting heart. I know everything’s gonna be okay. God is in control of everything. He holds our tomorrows, therefore I have nothing to worry about.
I hope I feel better tomorrow. For now, I am sleeping with a heavy heart. A heart that longs and misses someone so badly. But then I know we will be seeing each other soon again. 🙂 That’s enough encouragement for now.
I love you, Jay. Nothing can keep us apart. I’ll see u very very soon.