God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him.
These days I have been thinking about lots of things – from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep, I feel like I have been consumed with thoughts of all kinds. I think about the smallest of things to the biggest and I feel so worried and occupied and restless. And tonight I paused and asked myself “What’s wrong with me?”.
Time and again, God does things beyond amazing. He knows when to tap me in the shoulder and remind me to slow down, take a deep breath and relax. I must admit I have not been the most faithful Christian. When I start to think about my shortcomings, I just want to melt and disappear. I can’t bring myself to come before the Lord to pray – I feel so unworthy. And I know this is the enemy talking to me that I am no good, ungrateful, disobedient, unfaithful, undeserving Christian. And I really feel that – and even more so. However, I know my God loves me beyond my imperfections – with all my flaws and shortcomings. And though I do not deserve His love and mercy, God so willingly gives it to me. God loves me and He knows me like the back of his hand. And He is calling me back. He’s leading me back like a lost sheep.
The worries that keep me awake late at night have taken my peace away. And now the realization of what I have done, of what I have allowed myself to feel bring me down to my knees. I know I have offended God when I tried to veer away from His love. And I am sorry, so sorry. I am sorry that I have forgotten that He is all I need and His love is more than enough for me.
I miss you so bad, Lord. Touch my heart once again and fill it with more of you. Take away the worries, the pains, the apprehensions, and anything that’s not pleasing to you. Grant my heart your peace. Give me the grace to wait upon you patiently. Satisfy my heart with your love. You are all I need tonight and forevermore. In Jesus’ name, Amen.