I’ve lost count of the number of times I dreamt I was back in school again, finding my way through familiar hallways and classrooms. And every single time, it’s always the same feeling of anxiety. It’s the same emotion, the same fear. And then when i wake up, it would take a good 5 minutes before I could process that It was just a dream. And the moment it sinks in, I can feel my heart racing, like I was being chased by a manananggal.hahaha! I’d feel relieved and would literally utter a prayer of “thank you, lord!”. Apparently, the fear of not being able to graduate because of P.E (i know, right!?) has been etched in my core memory. Lol!
You see, P.E was never a favorite subject. I remember I dropped my P.E 1, because it was scheduled too early in the morning and I had to travel at least 2 hours to be able to come on time.What a lame excuse! lol And because I wasn’t a very good student back then (I’m sorry i was not a good example), I kept coming late in class and eventually decided to just drop the subject . And it wasn’t just once, but TWICE people! Shame on me that was a waste of tuition fee! (And I like how it rhymes haha)
Since then, I tried to stay away from taking P.E subjects and so ended up taking them on my final year in school. While all my classmates were occupied with thesis and OJTs, there i was trying to juggle everything. I’d come to my thesis class sweating from playing basketball to changing back to my school uniform and to running to my next class. I was all ngarag in every way.hahaha! I feared not passing my P.E subjects more than my major subjects, and I started to feel how embarrassing it would be to fail P.E and not graduate because of that. Imagine how happy I was when I saw my name on the list of graduating students for that semester. I was too overjoyed I wanted to jump around and cry. hahah!
It’s amazing how a certain period of your life keeps coming back to you in a form of a dream or nightmare. I keep asking myself why does it keep coming back? It sure feels scary, weird, crazy and funny all at the same time. So this must be how it feels to be haunted by your past? LOL! If I could back to college, I’d probably do much better than dropping my P.E subjects, but life would have been different too. Dropping those 2 P.E subjects before have led me to this life now. My failures led me to Jesus, and I couldn’t be more grateful for his redeeming grace.
Have you ever had that kind of dream?